Today was relatively slow, much like many days of the week. The only thing I really did was found a Primary Care Doctor who I really feel that I can relate to.
I admit that I was becoming a little impatient myself, but as soon as the doctor came in, that impatience quickly dissolved. She had looked like she was about ready to cry or that she had done so (I'm sure she had cried). She apologized for her late presence, saying that she had gotten bad news about a patient of hers and she was pretty close to them. A small practice allows you to do this. I felt for her, because I know how hearing bad news about someone really impacts someone that you really care for. I am praying for the patient, the family, and my doctor.
I had written a letter that addressed the things I have been ruminating on to her, and, amazingly, she had read it (usually if something is written like that, most physicians will pass it up, skim it and if it doesn't contain information pertinent to the medical history, toss it aside, never reading it in its entirety. There is a reason that I had written it, because I knew that there was going to be no way that I was going to remember all that, and it sets up the atmosphere for both of us to be open. If it weren't for the letter, I don't think that she would have been open enough to go into detail about why she was late.
Anyways, we had a lovely conversation, of which she told me that she totally agreed with me on everything that I had addressed in my letter. This was a rarity, as many physicians don't ever really have a conversation. She mentioned her 5 year-old daughter who had asked her if she had killed someone. The answer was no, and she then said that this was the reason that she left Kaiser, as there was so much work and there would definitely eventually be a costly mistake made. In medicine, mistakes have consequences, but these consequences are much more costly than anything else, and health professionals are aware of this. Sometimes it is hard enough to know that you made a mistake as a physician and a lawsuit will only make things much, much worse for the physician. I think a good rule of thumb is if the physician shows an understanding that he or she made a mistake and is remorseful about it, then you don't need to burden them with a lawsuit on top of it (it might be different for cases where quality of life may be impacted, at that point, the patient should try to work with the same physician to improve it and if it can't be done, then a lawsuit should be considered, but a settlement should probably be sought, not an actual judgment, as that might end up being turned into spite, and that is not conducive to this relationship and may leak into other relationships). Be willing to forgive easily if the physician works with you. If they don't, then you are free to speak out about him or her without slandering him or her. However, if you have a beef with the physician, talk to them about it and try to work it out. It could be a simple lack of communication that is causing your frustrations, and talking about it might work it out. If he or she skates over your frustrations, it may be time to find a physician that is a better fit for you.
It was refreshing to see a doctor who cares so much for her patients. I get the sense that she cares for a lot of them so much that she tries to follow what they do outside of the clinic as well. This is a rarity in medicine and is often a quality that is abandoned, as protective measures of being impersonal and often angry at patients is adopted. Keep it up, there will be many rewards in this in the future. This is what makes a great doctor, and I am proud to have you as my PCP.
Anyways, another thing, her daughter is really intelligent. I'm sure that she will do great things when she gets older. This demonstrates that she is also a great mother. Having lived in a Section 8 neighborhood before, I have seen parents not care if their children wandered around at 3 AM (I have also seen them change too, so people aren't always stuck in their ways). I have also witnessed pretty severe poverty myself. If it wasn't for my housing deposit being refunded, I would have started having to look to other means of eating that wouldn't cost me anything (part of the reason I volunteer). For the span of a week, I was having to wash my clothes by hand because I had $3 total to my name. By the grace of God go I. Anyways, this is not about me, as I really think that Dr. Black is more than just a good doctor, but a good person and mother. I admire that in her, and I'm sure that if it weren't for the restrictions placed on physicians, that we would end up becoming friends.
I have been observing a changing paradigm towards more empathic care lately. However, it's still not widely practiced. When it is widely practiced and a relationship is encouraged, the quality of care will be increased and the likelihood for error decreased. I am looking forward to when it is widely practiced, as impersonal care is driving me bananas.
I'm singing praises for her, while homework is sitting, undone. It won't get itself done, so I need to end this here. The bottom line: if you want a good doctor, you have to be open and have to look for them. They can be found, just as this proves (this is the second really good doctor that I have found, and I admit that I had to do my research about them before I made the final decision to see them). It takes work on your part, but it is well worth the time and the effort.
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