To say that I need the vacation is an understatement. I have been steamrollered by classes, so this break is more than a welcome time for me to relax. Then again, I have assignments that are due during break, so it isn't all vacation. I may actually use this time to get ahead in some of my classes. It isn't every month that you have a whole week to yourself.
As for what has happened lately, I have officially graduated from Mini Med School 2. Granted, I can't practice medicine (this is not actual medical school), I learned a lot from it. I also got to see the technology that I will be practicing on when I get into nursing school (it's kind of cool but kind of intimidating as well). I still look forward to applying and getting into nursing school in the near future.
I have also been contemplating whether or not my career path is realistic. The more I think about it, the more I realize that maybe it isn't realistic for me to expect to get into medical school. My grades are somewhat competitive, but are not that competitive. Maybe I'm getting down on myself, but then again, medical school is something that takes years to prepare for. I won't be able to get in by merely getting by. I have to do more to show that I actually want it, and this means learning to balance stress on a needle's tip. This is not entirely possible. However, I still have my dreams. What I am planning on doing is to get my Master's degree and possibly my Doctorate in Nursing. This will make me a nurse practitioner: someone who has the same prescribing rights as a doctor, but without the huge price tag associated with medical school. I think this is a more realistic aspiration, don't you agree?
Then again, I have been through hell and back, and it's surprising that I have done so well depending on what I have gone through. My counselor commends me on keeping this sense of right and wrong and in being attentive to my problems. I agree with her that I am more conscientious, and that makes me more capable of communicating my problems to my psychiatrist and those that support me, but I'm the last one who will say that I'm perfect. I may be one of the easier people to deal with then other people, like say my mom, but I still sometimes find it difficult to talk to people. I have discovered that I have this sort of wall that sometimes keeps me from relating and attaching to people. The way I look at it, this is just one more thing that I will conquer. I have conquered many other things, why not this as well?
On this same topic, I have some news on the Schizophrenia stuff. My dose has been increased again, and I will be on this dose until summer, which I then will be weaned to a lower dose. I started having symptoms again after becoming stressed about a dreaded chemistry test and having to do all the cleaning around the apartment...I hate the fact that my 24 year old brother that I live with has no idea how to keep the apartment clean. What's more gross is that he says that he hasn't cleaned the apartment once since he moved in, which was 4 years ago!! Eeeeeeewwwww, eeeeeeeewwwwwww, eeeeeeeeewwwwwww!!!!!! I guess that is how life is. Oh, and the shower broke about 3 days ago and he has yet to call maintenance to have it fixed. Luckily the faucet for the tub still works, or there would be no way for me or him to get clean. If it would have stopped working period, I would have lost it.
As for my brother, I have taken the attitude that I am not his mother and will not clean up after him. It drives me crazy living in filth, but he needs to learn that there won't be people to always clean up after him. I'm really thinking that I will be moving out to the on-campus residences in the fall because I really need to be in a place where I won't be so stressed out. What do you think?
As the night wears on, I think about what my break will be like. I don't want it to be a prolonged study session, but I also need to do my homework. I think I will go out with my friend and maybe wander 16th Street Mall for a while. I don't know. I guess I'll do whatever I want during this break. After all, break is all my own and a time to take for myself.
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