I think people will try to talk me out of medicine because
of my mental illness. Allow me to present my rebuttal to such an argument. I am
like many other people; I have dreams, desires, relationships and
responsibilities. The only difference that I have from other people is how my
mind functions. Some people’s minds are focused on math and science, crunching
numbers from the moment they get up to the moment they go to sleep. Other
people’s minds are focused on the arts, allowing music to gauge their emotions
and what they are experiencing at a particular moment. I am a healthy mix of
the two. Some days I allow myself to trail off on a harmonic symphony; other
days, I enjoy learning about science. Just because my mind operates on these
two different levels doesn’t negate the impact I could have on someone’s life,
nor does it negate my devotion to a career field.
It is said that many medical students are depressed in
medical school, especially female medical students. While I have seen the role
that conflicts tends to play on the attitudes of medical students (I have a
medical student friend who has recently found it difficult to want to stick
with medicine and has found herself questioning why she had even gotten into
the profession), I believe I possess an advantage over my peers. 56% (or
possibly even more) of all medical students in one study were discovered to
have clinical symptoms of depression. Most of these people may not be getting actual
treatment for it. That is where I possess the greatest advantage. I am aware of
my problems and am getting treatment for it. While I do struggle with symptoms
every once in a while, I at least have some control over them. I am not
allowing it to dictate my life, as these students may be allowing them to do.
Second of all, the treatment for my depression can also help me get advice on
how to reduce stress during school, how to manage time well, how to balance my
personal and professional life, how to deal with family and conflict and so on
and so forth. In this respect, therapy for me is mostly beneficial.
The question of the century on this topic is how will my
mental disorders affect my professional ability to administer medicine in a
compassionate, patient-centered way? Being mentally ill has no negative
deviation towards any unhealthy tendency when properly treated. Just because I am getting treatment
wouldn’t make me any less of a great physician or nurse. In fact, the opposite
is true: getting treatment will improve my ability to be able to give the kind
of prestigious, world-class care that is often demanded of the profession.
Treatment has liberated me to think clearly, communicate effectively, and
overcome obstacles that would otherwise still loom before me. Not getting
treatment would have been detrimental to both me and those that I would care
for, as I would still be interrupting due to racing thoughts, and I wouldn’t be
able to learn as much as I have, which would end up detrimentally affecting my
patients when I would make medical errors.
Another question that should be assessed is: how do you
think you will cope with the stresses of medical school and the medical
profession? The answer: I think I would cope better than most people with these stresses now
that I have the tools to be able to cope and handle these stresses when they
are thrown at me. I have a lot of resources at my disposal, and I am not afraid
to utilize them when I need. Most people figure that they can handle things on
their own and will struggle with them for a prolonged period of time before
realizing that they need help. In acknowledging my shortcomings, I also
acknowledge that it will be the help of others that will help me get through
the difficult times in my life. I spend less time floundering about on my own
and more time seeking help from others. This helps me to realize not only the
potential in myself, but the potential in others. Medical school, I believe,
should be focused on building a community of people that will work together for
the care of their patients, not as a means of competition against peers. I have
utilized community resources wherever I went and have discovered that there is
more power in five minutes of asking for someone’s help than there is in five
hours of frustratingly trying and failing to figure things out on your own.
Overall, I believe strongly that mental illness is no reason
to discount someone from attending medical school. If someone is passionate
enough for the field, there will be nothing that will stop them from succeeding
at whatever they put their mind to. In the end, mental illness may prove
beneficial in helping patients overcome their own shortcomings in life and to
potentially seek out the advice of other health care professionals and
professional counselors should they need it. Talking about an illness and
genuinely experiencing one are two completely different things. I believe that
by experiencing a disease, the health care worker, be it physician, nurse or
even CNA, they gain an appreciation and genuine understanding of what their
patients are going through at a particular moment. Not only that, but often the
difficulties of our life form us into better people and therefore better
healthcare workers. I often see these times of difficulty as the proverbial
heat and pressure that forms the coal into a diamond. This view has allowed me
to conquer many difficult times in my life and to rise above them. My life is
not dictated by a series of defeats, but rather an alternating series of
victories and defeats that have refined me into who I am. I am not always at
war, but I’m also not always at peace. I have learned to take these moments in
stride, and to learn to live life in the moment, never worrying needlessly
about the future and not allowing myself to be haunted by my past. I think that
this is what is often required in medicine, and I strongly believe that I will
do well in this field despite my shortcomings. It is all in the way that I look
at my difficulties and life.
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