Wednesday, November 23, 2011

The Way I View Difficulties


I think people will try to talk me out of medicine because of my mental illness. Allow me to present my rebuttal to such an argument. I am like many other people; I have dreams, desires, relationships and responsibilities. The only difference that I have from other people is how my mind functions. Some people’s minds are focused on math and science, crunching numbers from the moment they get up to the moment they go to sleep. Other people’s minds are focused on the arts, allowing music to gauge their emotions and what they are experiencing at a particular moment. I am a healthy mix of the two. Some days I allow myself to trail off on a harmonic symphony; other days, I enjoy learning about science. Just because my mind operates on these two different levels doesn’t negate the impact I could have on someone’s life, nor does it negate my devotion to a career field.

It is said that many medical students are depressed in medical school, especially female medical students. While I have seen the role that conflicts tends to play on the attitudes of medical students (I have a medical student friend who has recently found it difficult to want to stick with medicine and has found herself questioning why she had even gotten into the profession), I believe I possess an advantage over my peers. 56% (or possibly even more) of all medical students in one study were discovered to have clinical symptoms of depression. Most of these people may not be getting actual treatment for it. That is where I possess the greatest advantage. I am aware of my problems and am getting treatment for it. While I do struggle with symptoms every once in a while, I at least have some control over them. I am not allowing it to dictate my life, as these students may be allowing them to do. Second of all, the treatment for my depression can also help me get advice on how to reduce stress during school, how to manage time well, how to balance my personal and professional life, how to deal with family and conflict and so on and so forth. In this respect, therapy for me is mostly beneficial.

The question of the century on this topic is how will my mental disorders affect my professional ability to administer medicine in a compassionate, patient-centered way? Being mentally ill has no negative deviation towards any unhealthy tendency when properly treated. Just because I am getting treatment wouldn’t make me any less of a great physician or nurse. In fact, the opposite is true: getting treatment will improve my ability to be able to give the kind of prestigious, world-class care that is often demanded of the profession. Treatment has liberated me to think clearly, communicate effectively, and overcome obstacles that would otherwise still loom before me. Not getting treatment would have been detrimental to both me and those that I would care for, as I would still be interrupting due to racing thoughts, and I wouldn’t be able to learn as much as I have, which would end up detrimentally affecting my patients when I would make medical errors.

Another question that should be assessed is: how do you think you will cope with the stresses of medical school and the medical profession? The answer: I think I would cope better than most people with these stresses now that I have the tools to be able to cope and handle these stresses when they are thrown at me. I have a lot of resources at my disposal, and I am not afraid to utilize them when I need. Most people figure that they can handle things on their own and will struggle with them for a prolonged period of time before realizing that they need help. In acknowledging my shortcomings, I also acknowledge that it will be the help of others that will help me get through the difficult times in my life. I spend less time floundering about on my own and more time seeking help from others. This helps me to realize not only the potential in myself, but the potential in others. Medical school, I believe, should be focused on building a community of people that will work together for the care of their patients, not as a means of competition against peers. I have utilized community resources wherever I went and have discovered that there is more power in five minutes of asking for someone’s help than there is in five hours of frustratingly trying and failing to figure things out on your own.

Overall, I believe strongly that mental illness is no reason to discount someone from attending medical school. If someone is passionate enough for the field, there will be nothing that will stop them from succeeding at whatever they put their mind to. In the end, mental illness may prove beneficial in helping patients overcome their own shortcomings in life and to potentially seek out the advice of other health care professionals and professional counselors should they need it. Talking about an illness and genuinely experiencing one are two completely different things. I believe that by experiencing a disease, the health care worker, be it physician, nurse or even CNA, they gain an appreciation and genuine understanding of what their patients are going through at a particular moment. Not only that, but often the difficulties of our life form us into better people and therefore better healthcare workers. I often see these times of difficulty as the proverbial heat and pressure that forms the coal into a diamond. This view has allowed me to conquer many difficult times in my life and to rise above them. My life is not dictated by a series of defeats, but rather an alternating series of victories and defeats that have refined me into who I am. I am not always at war, but I’m also not always at peace. I have learned to take these moments in stride, and to learn to live life in the moment, never worrying needlessly about the future and not allowing myself to be haunted by my past. I think that this is what is often required in medicine, and I strongly believe that I will do well in this field despite my shortcomings. It is all in the way that I look at my difficulties and life.

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